My Life Is Literally in the Dumpster

If “Hoarders” were to create a spin-off show about creative people, I could have been in the pilot.

That’s because I just dumped hundreds (upon hundreds) of pounds of old brochures, posters, magazines, paper samples, “inspiration files,” documents, and ephemera into a trash dumpster—a purge that I needed to do before moving later this summer.

Buried deep in those dusty boxes, however, were two samples I just couldn’t toss: a button that bears my first tagline (circa 1980) and my first published ad (circa 1981).

“I sell Bell” was worn by salespeople who worked in Bell Telephone telephone stores. (Odd but true: Until the late 70s, you could only rent your home phone.)

“Goldfish” was an insurance agent co-op ad I created that got canned by a thickheaded attorney who thought consumers might actually think that Sentry insured goldfish.

Neither the tagline nor the ad made history. But they’re part of my history. The refuse haulers are scheduled to pick up my dumpster tomorrow… and I’ll be ready to start fresh all over again.